Thursday, October 29, 2009

Its Beginning to look A lot like Christmas.... WAIT.... WAIT... WAIT... What happen to Halloween and Thanksgiving??????


illustration by Moonair

Halloween and Thanksgiving got OWNED by Christmas this year. You know the economy is bad when Xmas decorations go up in October.

Sprint Store OCT/29

Brookstone oct/31... going hard with the Xmas decoration. They even had a sign saying "NO CANDY"... Sorry little trick or treaters... Hope u had ur eggs ready.

Jay Clean up Those Lyrics Buddy!!!

So it seems like there may be some changes to Jay-z and Alicia Keys' "Empire State of Mind" performance for Game 2 of the world series today. Yup, you guessed it, this time Lil Mama is going to drop in from an aerial lift on a zip line and finish the second verse. No, but really apparently Jay had to clean up the lyrics to the NYC Anthem. A part of that clean up might be the line "I made the Yankee hat more famous then a Yankee can"...

Hummmm If this is true I wonder what he will change the line to. I would suggest maybe YANKEES SUCK!!! but I don't think that would fly with old Steinbrenner.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009


My rendition of The Thriller "cat claw" dance. I made his for Banana Brand Clothing Co, Wear bANANAS cause We're Bananas. Not sure if they will print it or not. Got my fingers crossed.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Funny Story (The Entourage)

One night about 7 or 8 of my friends were hanging out on my porch relaxing. One of my friends started talking about this cute chick he met at the pool earlier. She gave him her number but he was too shy to call. Not only was he shy be he had been smoking for the past hour and paranoia had definitely set in. Being the good friend that I am I told him, “I will call her for you and pretend that I am you on the phone.”

After about 30-40 minutes I got him an invitation to “hangout” at her house for the night. She told me that when I get there the door will be unlocked and to come right up but to be quite because her aunt lived right below her. the only problem was that my paranoid, high friend was to scared to go alone. Sarcastically I said “if you really need all of us to go up there with you we can.” He clearly didn’t understand sarcasm cause twenty minutes later all 8 of use were trying to scale 3 flights of stairs without waking Aunt "Cock Block" on the first floor. Once we got to the top of the stairs, we scared the hell out of the girl. We all looked like complete asses but it was totally worth it to hear my friend trying to explain why the hell he had an entourage accompanying him on a booty call. Never the less it worked out cause she had a sister there that kept our company while they handled their business.

5 minutes later they come running up from downstairs saying “I JUST SEEN MOM'S CAR PULL UP!!! Climb out the window to the roof and go down the ladder." So all 8 of us climb through this tiny window onto the roof. I still chuckle whenever I think of how my chubby friend had to squeeze his body through the small window. Once we got on the roof I made way to the ladder.

NOW, I DON’T KNOW WHY!!! the first thing her mom did was come up to the third floor and look out the window, and I have NO CLUE!!! why the hell her dad was at the bottom of the ladder just waiting to see if anyone was going to climb down. My guess was one or two things, either her parents were over protective, freakishly distrustful people or that she did this so often that their normal routine involved coming in the house, saying “honey we’re home. Baby you check the window I’ll secure the latter around back.”

Now the father is screaming up at me and saying how he's going to get his dog and gun, and the mother is yelling at us through the window calling us all types of hoodlums. The whole time I'm sitting there scared out of my mind thinking what the hell did i smooth talk myself into. So as the dad walks off to collect his murder weapons I make a run for it. I jump off the roof of the three family house into the mud and dash across eight or nine back yards. The whole time I'm looking frantically and praying a dog doesn't hop out of the bushes and bite my a**. I felt like an Olympic gold metalest sprinting through yards, hurdling gates, climbing fences, and flipping over barbed wire. The dad hopping into his truck with another man to try to catch me but i was like Usain Bolt that night. I was running so fast that I wouldn't be surprised if there actually, was a dog in one of those yard, just like "DAAAAAMN!! That MF'er is out!!!" Luckily for me I got away with only a sprained finger and a bunch of scratches from the barbed wire.

I met up with my friends the next day and apparently the father didn’t realize that the whole Wu Tang Clan was on his roof. After he chased me in the truck they all climbed down the ladder and simply walked home. The guy who was actually to blame first said that her father pulled up to him saying “did you see a high yellow dude run by this way.” FML, From that moment on I vowed never to hope off another roof again. As a looked down at my bandaged arm, I thought "next time I get caught in a girls house shes just ganna have to get in trouble on her own. I ain't jumping"... but that's a whole 'nother story.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Funny Story, (not really funny but go with it ok)

For my high school graduation in 2002 my dad gave me his entire collection of records. My dad is a musician and his music means everything to him. With that being said it was a nice gesture but in the back of my mind I was thinking "why on earth would he give me these. I don't have a record player and I really don't like his crazy taste in jazz." However I accept it anyways and thank him.

In 2006-2007 my father moved into a nursing home upon getting sick. I get a call from a strange English man. He tells me that my father sold him one of his old record, however, he never delivered it because he got sick.. Immediately I thought, "wow he is selling the records he gave me." After a while I figured it was nothing to fuss about because I would never listen to it anyway. The man goes on to tell me how the record was only worth 30 or 40 dollars but he over paid my dad for the record because he really, really wanted it. So I go to my dads house to collect the record and mail it to the man but I couldn't find it. I contacted the English man and tell him that the record was not there. We made arrangements to meet so that I could give him back his 210.00 dollars that he paid my father. The English man contacted me several times over a span of about a year or so, asking if I could try to find the record. He even offered to pay me to find it.

Eventually I go back to his house and I find the record. I pick it up and see that my father is listed on the credits and I see a picture of him on the cover. I say to myself "I cant sell this album. It is one of the few things my dad has ever given me. Its priceless to me." So I bring it home. A few months pass and I get word that all of the things in my fathers apartment had been thrown out by his landlord. He had lost his apartment so the landlord threw out all of his belongings. Everything of his had been lost.

It's October 18, 2009, nearly 3 years later and while I am packing to move into my new apartment, I found the album I took from my Dad's apartment; I totally forgot that I had it. For some reason I decide to Google the Title of the record, The World's Experience Orchestra - The Beginning of a New Birth, and the first link I see is this Top 5 ebay Vinyl Record sales week ending 09/19/2009 and number 3 on the list is none other then The World's Experience Orchestra - The Beginning Of A New Birth, which sold for $2,127.00.